Of late, I am once again dealing with the term “dowager” in one of my works in progress (WIP). The Earl of Remmington’s mother resides at one of his smaller estates. As she is the widow of the late earl, I, at first, was referring to her as the dowager countess. Then I began my first round of edits, during which I slapped my forehead with a “Duh!” Until Lord Remmington remarries, his mother is still the Countess of Remmington. So, what does all this mean? What exactly is a “dowager”? Are all Dowagers like Lady Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham, on Downton Abbey? When would one use the term “dowager”?
In the Regency Period the word “dowager” was used in newspapers, letters, the Gazette, etc., but not in oral forms of address. One would never say for example, “I am pleased for the acquaintance, Dowager Countess.”
Oxford Dictionaries defines the word as: A widow with a title or property derived from her late husband. Its origin is Mid 16th century: from Old Frency douagiere, from douage ‘dower’, from douer ‘endow’, from Latin dotare ‘endow’. A dowager is a widow who holds a title or property—a “dower”—which was derived from her deceased husband. As an adjective, dowager usually appears in association with monarchical and aristocratic titles. In popular usage, the noun dowager may refer to any elderly widow, especially one of both wealth and dignity. (Dowager)
The word dowager started attracting negative emotions and widows began trying to avoid its use. However, it was in use in the Regency for widows of landed and usually titled men. In the United Kingdom, the widow of a peer may continue to use the style she had during her husband’s lifetime, e.g., “Countess of Remmington,” provided that his successor, if any, has no wife to bear the plain title. Otherwise she more properly prefixes either her forename or the word Dowager, e.g. “Ianthe, Countess of Remmington” or “Dowager Countess of Remmington.” In any case, she would continue to be called “Lady Remmington.” (Dowager)
Maria Feodorovna, christened Dagmar, a Danish princess, became Empress of Russia as spouse of Emperor Alexander III of Russia. Wikipedia
A queen dowager (also known as dowager queen or queen mother) is a title generally held by the widow of a king, while empress dowager is the widow of an emperor. A queen regnant is a female monarch, who reigns in her own right and not as the wife of the reigning king (queen consort) or guardian of a child monarch reigning temporarily in their stead (queen regent).
According to Debrett’s Correct Form: “Officially the widow of a peer is known as the Dowager Countess (or whatever [title she held previously]) of X, unless there is already a dowager peeress of the family still living. In the latter event, the widow of the senior peer of the family retains the title of Dowager for life, and the widow of the junior peer in that family is known by her Christian name, e.g., Mary, Countess of X, until she becomes the senior widow. . . . When the present peer is unmarried, by custom the widow of the late peer continues to call herself as she did when her husband was living, i.e., without the prefix of (a) dowager, or (b) her Christian name. Should the present peer marry, it is usual for the widowed peeress to announce the style by which she wishes to be know in future.”(113) This last bit is twentieth century, and Black’s agrees: most widows don’t use “dowager” at all anymore, and simply use the Mary, Countess of X option, announcing in the press the style they will be using. (Dowager Peeresses)
Empress Dowager Cixi, of the Manchu Yehenara clan, was a Chinese empress dowager and regent who effectively controlled the Chinese government in the late Qing dynasty for 47 years from 1861 until her death in 1908. Wikipedia
Laura A. Wallace ©2004 says, “If she is eligible, a widow assumes the title of dowager immediately she becomes a widow. However, she continues to be referred to as “Lady Denville” without the “Dowager” tacked on as long as the current title-holder (her son or grandson) remained unmarried, i.e., so long as there is not another “Lady Denville. (Titles and Forms of Address: A Guide to the Correct Use. London: A. & C. Black, Ltd., Third Edition, 1932) I think sometimes people also referred to dowagers as “the elder Lady Spenborough.” (Unless, as in Fanny’s case, the new Lady Spenborough is older than she is!) I seem to recall reading some contemporary letters which refer to “the old duchess” when meaning the widow of the 1st Duke of Marlborough (and in that case, it was one of her own daughters who was the new duchess). The rules for addressing a dowager in speech are in all ways the same as if her husband were still living, except that if confusion arises, she is referred to as The Dowager Countess (or Amabel, Countess of Denville) to distinguish her from the current peer’s wife, or from any other countesses still alive.
“In False Colours, when Lady Denville decided to marry Sir Bonamy, one beneficial circumstance she noted about the match was that after she was married, she would no longer be a dowager countess. Fanny, Lady Spenborough, is not a dowager and never will be, because the new Lord Spenborough was not a descendant of her deceased husband.
“In Their Noble Lordships (Winchester, Simon. Their Noble Lordships: Class and Power in Modern Britain. New York: Random House, 1982.) Winchester notes is that thanks to dukes’ apparent inability to make or maintain good marriages, there are twice as many duchesses today as there are dukes. That’s because most divorceés are entitled to the “Mary, Duchess of Southampton” style until they remarry.” (Dowager Peeresses)
Invitations to court and the lady’s name in the newspaper or on formal lists ( as in the list of those who attended a Queen’s birthday bash) would use “dowager ” if there were another one with her same title. If there were more than one widow, the first widow is the dowager and the others are Mary Countess of XX. The main purpose was to avoid confusion between or among ladies. One never addressed the lady as a “dowager” in person. One only spoke of her as the dowager when it was necessary to distinguish her from any other living Countess of Someplace, for instance.
However, as girls could marry at age twelve in England during the early 1800s, a “dowager” wasn’t connected to age. That being said, because old women were usually “dowagers” (in the upper crust of society) and because people spoke poorly of sitting among the dowagers and chaperones at social events, widows of the time decided they did not like the word “dowager.” If woman wanted to present her granddaughter at court, or her new daughter-in-law, she would need to describe herself as a “dowager” XXX (title). Ordinarily she wouldn’t use it at all.
In Downton Abbey, Maggie Smith portrays Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham. Ms. Smith’s popularity has brought the word “dowager” into style again.
Nancy Mayer’s Regency Researcher ~ Titles and Names
St Michael Paternoster Royal is a church in the London proper. The original building, which was first recorded in the 13th century, was destroyed in the Great Fire in 1666. The church was rebuilt under the aegis of Sir Christopher Wren. However St Michael’s was severely damaged during the London in WWII. It was restored between 1966 and 1968. In 1423 Richard “Dick” Whittington, the fabled Lord Mayor of London, was buried within its precincts; although the tomb is now lost. The earliest record of St Michael’s is as St Michael of Paternosterchierch and is dated 1219. Richard Whittington, four time Lord Mayor of London, founded the College of St Spirit and St Mary within the church, so that St Michael’s became a collegiate church, i.e. it was administered by a college of priests, in this case five, instead of a rector. It was commonly known as Whittington’s College, or Whittington College. Adjacent to the Church, Whittington also founded an almshouse. The College was dissolved by Edward VI in 1548; but was re-established in a new entity a few years later under Queen Mary. The title seems in any case to have persisted for the church, giving the names of College Street, and College Hill. The almshouses moved to Highgate in 1808 and later to their present location in East Grinstead in 1966. (
From 
Whittington College is a Gothic almshouse built around three sides of a quadrangle. The chapel is the center point of the structure. The Whittington charity called College Hill home, but eventually moved to the another site near the Whittington Stone in 1822. “St Michael’s is rectangular in plan, with only the west front on College Hill being slightly out of true. Before the Second World War the south front was hemmed in by buildings. Following bomb damage, these buildings were cleared and Whittington Garden laid out on their site, so that St Michael’s main façade is now on the south, along Upper Thames Street. The south front is faced with Portland stone and has six round-headed windows with cherub keystones. The less prominent north and east fronts are of brick. The roof is balustraded.
The English aristocrat often lived beyond his means. Maintaining country houses (often several of them) and a large Georgian town house in Mayfair took its toll on his purse strings. In addition to owning the property, Society forced him to maintain an extensive staff, which would see to his family’s needs.
Even a modest staff was costly. Characteristically, a land owner maintained 40-50 servants. A large number of male servants was an indication of a man’s wealth. Employing males, instead of females, created a greater expense because a tax on male servants was introduced by Lord North in 1777. The tax was to be used for the cost of fighting the Americans and the war with the French. It cost a landowner £7 for each male servant if there were eleven or more in the household. Although it was gradually reduced over the years, the tax continued until 1937.
Footmen and other male servants were provided tailored livery. In the mid 1800s, it would cost 3 guineas for a footman’s uniform. Typically, a footman received 2-3 suits per year. Only the wealthiest aristocrat could afford to employ a house steward, groom of the chambers, valet, cook, butler, under-butler, footmen, footboy, usher, page, “tiger,” coachmen, grooms, a man-of-all-work, gardeners, etc.
The valet was usually at least 30 years of age. He was expected to have a superficial air of aristocracy about him. He saw to his master’s dress and was expected to be abreast of social gossip to aid his master in social engagements, etc. He did not wear livery. He would rise before his master. The aristocrat’s clothes were prepared, a bath drawn, and everything his master required for his ablutions prepared. He might also be required to dress the master, or he might need to know how to load a gun quickly so that his master could shoot with his friends.
During the Regency Period, wealth and social class separated the English citizenry. Beginning with the Royals, citizens found their place based on birthright and wealth. The nobility stood above the gentry, who stood above the clergy, who stood above the working class, etc. As part of the gentry, Jane Austen’s family held certain privileges, but also lacked political power. Although he was a rector, the Reverend George Austen was a “gentleman,” meaning man of the gentry class. Austen’s novels are populated with those of the gentry. Occasionally, her readers encounter the nobility, as in Lady Catherine De Bourgh and the Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple or the clergy as with Mr. Collins or Mr. Elton.
People of lower rank were expected to wait to be introduced to someone of a higher rank. (Do you recall Catherine Morland and Mrs. Allen at Bath? They must wait for an introduction to Henry Tilney, who calls upon the evening’s master of ceremonies to do the deed.) Women of the period were to be obedient to their fathers and husbands, docile and without opinions, have refined qualities, and attendant to their families. Education was not a prerequisite for women. In Austen’s stories, her heroines often shun these predisposed qualities. One must remember that Darcy admires Elizabeth Bennet’s desire to improve her mind by extensive reading.
Previously, we looked at what a servant in an upper house, or even in a second-class household, of the late Regency Period or early Victorian times, might encounter. We spoke of wages, delineation of duties, and additional compensation. Today, we wish to examine the “snobbery” found among the servant class. As mentioned in the previous’s article, the servants in upper households expected “tips” from the master’s guests. If he did not receive it, he might still exact his revenge on those who paid a second visit to the estate. On his return, a guest might find himself in a one of the draftier bedchambers or he might be met at the train in a cart rather than an estate carriage.
This situation reminds me of the chauffeur in the play Sabrina Fair (basis of the movie Sabrina, which starred Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn) who earns a fortune by simply listening to his employer conduct business in the backseat of the car and then buying and selling stocks based on Linus Larrabee’s knowledge of the stock market.
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