This weekend I returned from my 45th high school class reunion. It was a wonderful weekend…got to see lots of “old” friends. Yes, we are in our 60s. However, if you had seen us on the dance floor, you might not have believe it to be so. Saturday night, our favorite local band provided the music. The “Dynamics” were solid as always. Over 550 students walked across our stage – the class of 1965. We were young and so naive, but we were also resourceful. We have lost 50 of those dear friends over the years – several of them succumbing in their late teens and early 20s. When I think of high school (remember I taught school for 40 years … 22 of those at the high school level) I must say, whether it is a person’s 5th reunion, his 10th, or his 45th, what the movie “Never Been Kissed” says about the stereotypes are true. One still sees the girls who were always the prettiest, and the jocks who succeeded off the field, as well, and the brains, who own their own businesses, and, of course, that one person who used to make one’s heart flutter. It really does not change. Of course, we should all realize that. Psychologists tell us that a child’s personality is formed by the age of 2. So, why would we think a few dozen college degrees could change that? I was fortunate enough in the days of the Sputnik scare to have a high enough IQ to compete with those who had more financially than did I. Unfortunately, many of those with whom I grew as a child were not afforded those same opportunities. Some of those “still,” after all these years, feel they do not belong, and they avoid returning to such memories. I am more tenacious than that. I say “Make them deal with you.” If you think you did not belong, get the best revenge. Return and show them that you are successful despite what your critics may have thought. I am from WV. Remember we had the Hatfields and the McCoys. We believe in “getting even.” What I am saying is you cannot let others define you. You must not lose sight of who you are. You will always have those critics, but their voices should not be allowed to drown out your own inner voice. Listen to your heart. It will guide you to happiness. P.S. It is also great for the ego when you find someone in the group who has not aged as well as you did. LOL!!!
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I believe you are correct in what you said that we should not let people define who we are. It makes us ANGRY!! I was Angry for a very long time after H.S., it was not that I was ostracized, I was like wall paper that blends into the background. I didn’t get kissed till I was 24yrs old. I am stronger now, because I released my anger and stopped looking at myself through otheres eyes. I am trying to give my daughter the self confidence I never had. I still would not want to go back to H.S. for all the money in world be cause i have nothing to proove to them.
I was a lot like wallpaper too, only because I didn’t try hard enough to be something more. I felt that it would be weird to start opening up to people after two-three years of unintentional isolation. Plus, I was never good at initiating conversations.
Going to college gave me a fresh start. I came to Boone two years ago with no connections, knowing that I would have to actively seek out people and make friends. During my freshman and sophomore years, I joined a service club I’m still active in today and found a bunch of nerdy guys to watch “Mystery Science Theater 3000” and go hiking with me. I am MUCH more social now than I have been in my entire life. Heck, I even dress a little differently. I have everything to prove, but it’s okay if the people at my high school reunion don’t notice. I made it, and that’s the only thing that matters.